The Ones You Leave Behind II.
This is the second article of the The Ones You Leave Behind series. In this article, I will look at the situation when you realise that the time that you spend with your new friends is limited. Unfortunately, I am currently quite often “left behind”, because my friends leave for their internships or graduate. How to deal with this?
Leaving is not losing
As I said in my previous article, “leaving sounds like losing, but this is not the case”, this also holds for the ones that leave you. You will never lose the memory of the library sessions and coffee brakes, but especially the celebrations after exams, early spring BBQs and Kingsday parties. Apart from the memories and the pictures in your head, not being in the same place does not mean that you cannot be friends anymore. So, even if friends are leaving, it does not mean that you are losing them.
How to deal with it?
An easy solution could be to just not make friends: Don’t talk to anyone in your classes, go alone to the library, do not have coffee breaks, do not go out at night. Well, what kind of a sad and boring life would that be. Effective and efficient though. Friends are often keeping you away from work. Well, of course I am joking. Personally, I prefer to make the trade-off between work and friends in favour for my friends.
I want to have a great time, create memories and enjoy my student life with people, even though this includes the pain of leaving. But why even bother and already worry about the future? Instead, enjoy your time now and live the moment. Create your home away from home with friends that become your family away from your family. For example, the AID is a great way of getting to know new people and make new friends (by the way, https://weblog.wur.eu/harry-potter-fanfiction-essay/ are open now). I guess, it is not for nothing that the AID mentors are called moms and dads and the newbies are “their kids”.
The moment to say goodbye
Currently, I am happy that I’ll see most of the people that say goodbye now, later again. Therefore, it does not feel like a “real” goodbye most of the time. The friends that left either come back for the weekends, live close by, come for a visit or to defend their thesis. But even if the friends do not come back for their defence or alike, you can visit each other. Isn’t it great to have a couch to crash in multiple countries and various cities thanks to Wageningen’s international character?
Through social media you can stay in contact easily. Alumni groups facilitate the networking, but also easy and spontaneous get-togethers at the other side of the globe.
Nobody Ever Leaves for Good
Yet, I already feel horrible when I am only thinking of leaving Wageningen and my closest friends myself. Leaving myself is ultimate. However, when an Italian friend of mine left, he said “Chi non muore si rivede”. This comes down to the German saying “Niemals geht man so ganz” which translates to “nobody ever leaves for good”.
The morale of the story
It’s a vicious circle: Leaving is only not losing if you take memories and new friends with you. Therefore, I am asking you to make the best of your time in Wageningen. Create tales and stories that you will tell your grandchildren. And if you don’t want to keep the tales to yourself, become a guest or permanent blogger of the WUR International Student Blog yourself 🙂